Will taking salsa lessons help bring us closer together as a couple?
I feel we are drifting apart, even though we live together. Things are just going in a downward spiral, it seems. Has anyone taken salsa or tango lessons? Did it help you and your SO get closer?
It might or might not help. The positive aspects of doing so are the following:
- you spend meaningful time together
- you have a project you’re working on together
- you spend time holding each other in your arms
- you get an additional benefit of non-verbal communication
- it can be empowering for a guy to feel that he is leading. Guys like that. (don’t make a mistake of competing with him on that)
However, it can bring more strain in the strained relationship because
- it’s easy to get frustrated with each other
- one of the two might notice that the disconnect between you is greater than it seemed
I had both experiences personally. In one case, when I started dancing with my then-husband (and our marriage wasn’t going all that great) I realized it very quickly that the gap between us isn’t going to close. In the other case, with a different guy, our relationship flourished through dancing.
My advise would be to go for it and see if it works for you. If it doesn’t work you can decide what is not working – dancing as a cure for relationship or the relationship itself.
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:36 pm
It doesn’t matter what your activities are as a couple, you must have the communications to back up everything. And communication is an activity not everyone is good at.
References :
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:53 pm
If the problems seems specifically that you don’t spend enough time together doing things together I would DEFINITELY recommend tango and/or salsa dancing. My guy is a strictly hiphop dancer and it took me weeks to get him to attend tango with me, but boy when he did WOW! He loved it and it definitely brought some sparks back and we make sure to get that time together ever since.
However if your problem seems to be communication I would sit down and have a nice talk about how you feel. Let him know you miss him and see if you can both talk it out and find the root of the real problem
References :
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:07 am
It might or might not help. The positive aspects of doing so are the following:
- you spend meaningful time together
- you have a project you’re working on together
- you spend time holding each other in your arms
- you get an additional benefit of non-verbal communication
- it can be empowering for a guy to feel that he is leading. Guys like that. (don’t make a mistake of competing with him on that)
However, it can bring more strain in the strained relationship because
- it’s easy to get frustrated with each other
- one of the two might notice that the disconnect between you is greater than it seemed
I had both experiences personally. In one case, when I started dancing with my then-husband (and our marriage wasn’t going all that great) I realized it very quickly that the gap between us isn’t going to close. In the other case, with a different guy, our relationship flourished through dancing.
My advise would be to go for it and see if it works for you. If it doesn’t work you can decide what is not working – dancing as a cure for relationship or the relationship itself.
References :